I had a C-section at 35 weeks

It seems funny to me now that I am following up my post about almost giving birth at 35 weeks when I did had my son at that time. A few hours after posting my last article, I was startled when the resident doctor, along with a number of nurses, came rushing inside my room to tell me that my baby's heartbeat was dropping again!

She said the tightening in my stomach are contractions. I was speechless. I was numb. Should I be panicking? Am I supposed to cry now? Is my baby gonna be okay? The doctor proceeded trying to trigger my baby's heartbeat and for a few intense moments, with my eyes glued to the heart monitor, I felt my heart practically explode with intense fear. I said a small prayer to God, Mama Mary, St. Clare and St. Gerard Majella and lo and behold, Archie's heartbeat rose up and stabilized.

I was rushed to the Operating Room and was immediately prepped for a c-section. I was such in a daze that all I could think about was having Henry with me so, I asked one of the nurses if I could use her phone to call my husband. Please be here soon, I told Henry.

I remember the bright lights inside the facility, the cold brass bed, the unusually cold temperature and the hustle of all the nurses. I remember the anesthesiologist explaining things to me and suddenly I was held in fetal position so she could inject the epidural at the right point in my spine. Suddenly, I was numbed from the waist down.

Maybe it was the medicines, but suddenly, I felt calm. I was ready to meet my son.

Half an hour after the fiasco started, Dra. Valerie Guinto walked in the OR all prepped and ready to go. Seeing her gave me such a sense of relief because I know that she will take care of me and my baby. She then calmly told me that we need to get Archie out now to ensure his safety. Ten minutes later, Henry arrived as well.

I never knew that a major operation like C-section can be so calm - I can hear Dra. Guinto making light kwentos with the other doctors, my anes by my side calmly telling me that I might feel some discomfort at specific points during the procedure and that all of it was normal.

A few minutes later, they hauled Archie out of me and I heard him cry his small cry once. My heart almost gave out. He was a healthy 35 weeker and did not need to be incubated. He was immediately roomed in with me. I can still remember how I was awaken when I heard him cry beside me inside the recovery room; how strong my yearning was to hold him and look at him and love him with all my life.

Our first family picture

I Almost Had An Emergency C-Section at 35 Weeks!

I went in for a follow-up check yesterday because contractions were seen last Thursday on my Non-Stress Test. I was actually supposed to come in and have my follow-up check up today however, my doctor cancelled her Saturday clinic schedule. The hospital visit was unexpected on our end and our driver was already out on an errand yesterday hence, we opted to take an Uber to go to St. Lukes Global. I feel like I need to mention this because with our personal driver, I am very adamant that he be careful with bumps on the road as I feel it aggravates the aches and pains I feel during this pregnancy. 

Alas, the uber/cab driver was far from being careful. I felt every bump, every sudden break and what's more, he changed route halfway through the ride because he mistakenly entered a U-turn slot that took us back to Manila. 

After almost two hours on the road, we arrived at the hospital with me feeling very tired. I felt my tummy tightened but was quite relieved to know that I was already next in line for my doctor's appointment. A few minutes after arriving at the clinic, my name was called and I went inside the doctor's room where she asked me to lay down so she can perform an ultrasound.

When my doctor was scanning me, I immediately noticed a concerned looked twitched across her face. She said the fetal heartbeat was only at 99 beats per minute (regular range is between 110-160bpm). She sent me straight to the operating room for an emergency c-section!!!

I was crying all the way because I only hit 35 weeks today and our target was 37 weeks (not full 40 weeks because I have APAS and it is considered risky for APAS patients to go beyond this point). Right before they started the operation, my OB ordered the nurse to hook me up on a fetal hearbeat monitor and THANK GOD, his heartbeat registered at 140s.

 

They transferred me back to the high risk pregnancy unit where I am now being kept for possibly a few days. I've had one shot of steroids to support my baby's lung development if in case he comes early; I've also has one shot of medicine that's supposed to stop the preterm contractions.

I really wanna go home because I am on a private hospital and I can practically hear the bills raking up with every passing hour.

By the way, the cab story is only meant to relay the fact that I feel the bumpy ride kind of contributed to the drop in heartbeat, as my doctor said I possibly had a long contraction that's why the sudden decline. 

I do hope our situation stabilizes and the contractions stop. I need the baby to continue baking for at least one more week or optimistically, two more weeks. As my doctor said, every 24 hours inside my womb is crucial to my baby's development. 

One Day At A Time

I am 16 weeks and 5 days today and so far, I've had two IVIG sessions, three Intralipids infusions, around 90+ Innohep jabs and hundreds of oral medications to help sustain my pregnancy. Due to the fact that I've suffered through a number of miscarriages, every minute of THIS pregnancy is making me nervous hence, I pushed my boss to allow me to work from home three times a week and I make sure I don't put any strain on myself by walking for more than 15 minutes at a time or lift heavy things, etc.

The expenses can pile up but I have to say that I don't even think about how much we've been spending because the thought that my baby is happily growing inside my tummy gives me so much happiness.

Short Cervical Length

On our routine check-up on a Tuesday before New Year's, my OB-Perinat noticed that my cervical length is quite short. I learned that the normal measurement is from 2.5cm and although mine falls within that range at 2.9cm, it was still considered quite short for how far along I was (around 14W+). I was told that if it gets any shorter, I would need to get a cervical cerclage, which is a fancy term for stitching your cervix close to hold the baby's weight better.

I was super stressed out and even went for a second opinion a few days after - the second doctor said my measurement was normal and that I shouldn't worry about it too much. She also advised me to increase my progesterone suppositories to twice a day and put my feet up as much as possible.

So, for the next few days, I refrained from walking and doing anything at all - which sucked because of all the festivities that were going on around me.

However, I believe the most important thing I did during those days was to do a nine-day novena using a prayer from Tessera Legion ni Maria. I solemnly prayed to the Holy Virgin Mary to help me and protect my baby, to blessed us with a healthy pregnancy and to lengthen my cervical length. Lo and behold, on my next appointment, my cervical length did increased to 3.1cm!!! I was so ecstatic, I just know that Mama Mary heard my prayers.

At the core of all this, I know the most important thing I can do it cling to my faith, lift everything up to God and hope that everything goes well.

Pregnant Again After Fourth Pregnancy Loss

I recently found out that  I am pregnant and unlike most women, the first emotion I felt was dread - a sweeping wave of dread.

Don't get wrong, but my initial reaction was mainly due to the fact that I've had four previous miscarriages and the memory of my most recent loss is still painfully fresh that it overshadowed the excitement that I should've felt when I the word "Pregnant" flashed on the Clearblue digital pregnancy test I used that fateful day.

Soon after I got over that stupid feeling, my maternal instinct kicked in and I realized that I do want this, I need this. I messaged my immunologist, who is managing my APS condition and sought her advice on what our next step is to boost my chances of keeping this pregnancy. So, a day after getting the BFP, I went to Asian Hospital to have an eight-hour session of Intravenous immunoglobulin (IVIG), which is made of purified plasma from hundreds of healthy donors. It is said to manage recurrent pregnancy losses of patients with autoimmune diseases.

I admit, the cost was very pricey but my husband and I have agreed (after our last miscarriage) that we will proceed with this treatment the next time I got knocked up.

The good news is two weeks after my infusion, I went in for an ultrasound and saw our little beanie's heartbeat! In five pregnancies (including this one), this was only the second time we've seen a heartbeat so, this was such a huge milestone for us!

However, we are still not in the clear. As my OB said, we need to get past 12 weeks before we can somehow relax. Hence, on top of the IVIG infusion, I also take anticoagulants like baby aspirin and Innohep jabs.

Random Musing

When I was younger, I remember sitting by the window inside my mother's room at the far end of our old home's second floor hall - daydreaming about the wonderful unknown my future holds. I was so sure that my life would be a happier version of my life then; I looked forward to the days when I would have finished school, start my career as a professional and help make my family's life become better.

I'd get butterflies in my stomach as colored images of me living my dreams pop inside my head. I remember I could easily waste away an entire afternoon just reveling on this wonderful feeling of anticipation that I am looking forward to something great.

Today, a full grown woman who has indeed, graduated and took on a respectable career, I look back to those young and innocent days when I still had the luxury to look forward to something with optimism; when time was not a constraint, not a weapon that can rear its ugly head against me.

I long for the times when I can see my dreams come alive in vibrant colors in my mind.

Lunch Hour Escape

I believe that you can never spoil yourself too much - that's why I indulge myself with certain pampering luxuries as often as possible, as much as possible.

I enjoy treating myself to deep-cleansing facials once a month, radio frequency treatments every fortnight along with mani/pedi (that I coincide with my husband's haircut schedule) and some other services that pique my interest.

I developed a chronic pain on my right shoulder while working on an early morning shift (5AM - 1PM) in 2011. I would inadvertently fall asleep on my desk on a wayward position that ultimately wrecked my back.

For this reason, I have to say that one of my favorite indulgences is a full body massage - I revel at the sensation of cracking those stress knots on my back, while rhythmically easing the tensed muscles by targeting pressure points on my body.

Today, I decided to spend my lunch hour in a spa located along San Agustin Street in Makati.

I judge a spa by its looks and how it smells like hence, the warm feel of the space with the soft scent of essential oils wafting through the air both ticked my yes boxes




The interiors of  Utopia Spa looks really cozy and the fact that its service menu has a list of reasonably-priced one-hour massages made me inexplicably giddy to start my session.

Here I am with a friend while waiting for our turn. We both signed up for the Deep Tissue massage. 

The nature-inspired theme extends all the way through the spa's massage rooms. Starting with a five-minute foot soak, I can say that I was thoroughly satisfied with way the therapist massaged me.

I am pointing this out because I usually get disappointed with some therapists for failing to give me the level of pressure that I want.

Plus, I love the pink kimono-inspired outfits they asked me to put on before starting the therapy. 

To close off my entry, I'd say that the experience was really nice. 

If I have to give a rating, Utopia Spa is four starts out of five. Definitely worth spending your lunch hour for,

Don't Fight The Sweat - Natural Deodorant Recipe

Recently, I've been slowly trying to make key changes in my lifestyle like work out more, cut back on alcohol and be smarter in choosing which products I should use. I admit that the urge to make myself healthier is I feel like I may be able to put a stop on my recurrent miscarriages by doing so.

In my quest to find answers, I came about this article that tells of a woman who've had repeated pregnancy losses and was able to get her rainbow baby when a UK-based wellness institute determined that she has low levels of zinc and high levels of copper and aluminum in her system! 

How I wish I can have myself checked out in the same institute, but alas, I'm based in Manila and going to London to pay Foresight - the Association For The Promotion of Preconceptual Care a quick visit is not really an option for me right now. 

Hence, I'm mostly approaching this with a DIY/Pinterest state of mind - that is, I'll find hacks and do everything on my own to actually decrease (with the aim of completely eliminating) these toxins from my body.

Natural Deodorant

Project Organic (I just came up with that corny title just now haha) begins with one of my hygiene staples - the deodorant. I started using antiperspirants at a very young age because just like the next person, I find body odors absolutely repulsive. I mostly judge people not by their attitude, their lifestyles or whatever, but by their smell. One whiff of "amoy labahan" or "baktol," and you are off my good side. 

Anyway, Google tells me that deodorants are incredibly toxic - leeching copious amount of aluminum compounds and other chemicals into our bodies just to keep our pits from sweating. Since sweating is our body's way of getting rid of toxins, blocking sweats with heavy metals like aluminum have been linked to cause breast cancer in women, prostate cancer in men and also elevate the risk of getting Alzheimer's. Damn, Rexona!

There are a lot of natural deodorant recipes all over the Internet however, I would like to share mine as the products used are locally sourced.

Trust me, this recipe works! However, it maybe worth noting that this is not an antiperspirant and that you may need to reapply within 5-6 hours after initial application, but with all the risks associated with the store-brought alternative, who cares?

You'll need the following: 

• 2 TBSP Coconut Oil - moisturizes the skin
• 1 TBSP Baking Soda - antibacterial
• 1 TBSP Cornstarch  - stabilizes the mixture
• 5 Drops of Tea Tree Oil - antibacterial/scent

Use roughly two tablespoons of baking soda and cornstarch (you can get these from your local supermarket), mixed with a couple of tablespoons of coconut oil (Cash and Carry) along with six drops tea tree oil (Healthy Options). 

Incorporate thoroughly until you get a smooth mixture like this:

I just used an empty Laneige jar to keep my natural deodorant. I find that it kind of solidifies depending on the room's temperature. You can keep it in fridge if you want to or add beeswax to further stabilize the mixture, but I don't really mind the runny consistency.

I've been using this for over a month now an I can say that it really does work! Plus, tea tree oil smells so good!

Repeated Miscarriages and The Persistent Fight To Become A Mom

I don't talk about my miscarriages because the stigma of  being judged as a woman with this kind of problem does not evade me. In fact, I can almost feel the sneer of these imaginary people as I type these words.

Also, there is no local community here in Manila that I can enlist myself up for, where I can get emotional support from women who've had the same experiences. However, I do know that there are a number of women with the same problem and with that in mind, I would like to share the things I've gone through as a way to reach out, seek out for support and at the same time, offer my empathy to anyone who may find my story all too familiar.

The Never-ending Nightmare

It was barely three months after I got married when I found out that I was pregnant. The ecstasy I felt was overwhelming - my husband and I immediately started thinking about caring for our baby, taking him/her everywhere and just imagining the joy our baby will bring into our family was just almost too much for us to bear.

A few days after repeatedly taking home pregnancy tests, we went to our OB/GYN to have the pregnancy confirmed and yes, I was indeed five weeks and two days pregnant! I started telling my friends and family, completely unaware of the impending cloud of horror that was about to cast a shadow over our happiness.

My baby's heart stopped beating at around 6 weeks into gestation. I remember feeling hatred towards my OB/GYN, who was mechanically telling me that there is no hope and I should undergo dilation and curettage (D&C) or "raspa" immediately to avoid blood poisoning. 

I remember thinking - was it only a few days ago that I found out I was about to become a mom? How can this be my reality, all of a sudden? I wanted to wring my doctor's neck to squeeze out an iota of empathy from her - I was angry, heartbroken  and the least thing she could do was be a bit more sensitive to my situation.

Eventually, we did succumbed to the procedure - out of sheer despair of not wanting to prolong the agony and move on from this tragedy.

But the nightmare did not stop there. We went onto miscarried three more times within the span of two years: two D&C's and one natural. I remember the summer of 2014, a day before my birthday - we were in Taiwan, trying to enjoy the city when I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my lower abdomen.

I told Henry that I'd rest in the hotel, hoping against hope that the pain was not the pain of another loss. Within that same hour, I experienced the most excruciating pain with blood gushing out of me seemingly by the buckets. My only reprieve was the hot toilet seat in the hotel (Thank God for first world countries and their penchant for these things!), which soothe my aching muscles while making the process of birthing the failed pregnancy just a bit easier.

After much agony, I did passed all the pregnancy remains and somehow found energy to clean myself up, waited for Henry to come back and went to the nearest hospital to have myself properly checked out by a doctor.

The next day, we went out for cake and ice cream to celebrate my birthday and bid adieu to another baby lost.

Light and Hope

Last month marked my fourth miscarriage and I have to admit, every time I see a pregnant woman who's well into her final trimester, I feel a pang of envy and maybe even anger. Not necessarily towards her, but to the unfair situation I am in.

For this miscarriage, I underwent hysteroscopy with D&C - another fancy medical term that basically makes use of a tiny camera so, scraping of the pregnancy tissues are seen by the doctor, This is also a procedure that would check if there are abnormalities in my uterus (as if I need another piece of bad news).

My doctor was great and she has suggested a number of immunological blood tests in hope that we finally get the solution to our problem, which is something that we've looked into before with not much luck.

I am set to do another round of Reproductive Immunology Panel and a separate series of specific blood tests.

I am hoping that this time around, Henry and I will get the answers we've long been searching for.

Getting My Groove, er Blog Back

A few days from now and it'll be exactly three years since I last updated this blog.

A lot of things have changed - I'm now married, I've gone through a couple of jobs and been through a heck lot over the last few years!

I can honestly say that I've missed writing so much and if I can only speak to the 2013 version of myself, I'd smack her head and tell her not to carelessly forget about the only creative outlet she has. 

I initially created this blog as inspired by the beauty gurus that proliferated the Internet, which includes Michelle Phan, Pixiwoo, etc. Hours of watching their videos made me think that I could be the next big thing in the makeup space and look how great that turned out to be. It did not turn out very well, to say the least. However, one thing I can say is that I had a lot of fun doing all those makeup posts. It was actually kind of therapeutic, you know?

Now that I've decided to restart my blog, I'm restructuring this space from being makeup-centered to something a little more diverse - tackling more topics like wellness, health, travel experiences and of course, makeup and other beauty-related stuff.

Pease follow me on Instagram, my handle name is annemargarethsy.

More updates soon!

Shu Uemura Rouge Unlimited Supreme Matte Lipstick in Bright Pink

Soft sunlight, a gentle breeze against your skin, flowers dancing along a field of magical dreams - these are the imageries Shu Uemura's Blossom Dream Spring/Summer 2013 Collection evokes.

I've heard a lot of great things about this line, one of which is the extraordinary texture of its matte lipsticks!

So, when I heard 'matte' + 'lipstick', you know I just had to try it out.

I picked up Bright Pink (P1,100), which is one of the two lipsticks in the range.

Post Digital Perming Hair Care

Hey 'er boys and girls!

I know, I know it has been WEEKS since I last posted, but I have two words for the erm, content delay: Wedding Preparations.

I am telling you, my schedule has been been filled to the brink because of the seemingly endless suppliers we need to book. And because I am still being a persistent know-it-all, I still haven't tapped a wedding coordinator.

Actually, I almost booked one but that girl turned out to be a prick - good thing she showed her true colors before we paid her asking price. Sheesh, there are a lot of, for a lack of better word, unpleasant people in Manila's very small wedding industry.

That reminds me, I need to do a new post for my wedding series on this blog. I think I just wrote one article for that, like four months ago. tee-hee!

Anyway, I got my hair digi-permed late in December and I've been wanting to share with you guys the aftercare products I use for my locks.

I was actually very frustrated because I couldn't find products that are specifically engineered for curly hair anywhere in the city. Its like every product is for straight hair only. Let's blame the media for this single-mindedness, shall we?

Shampoo

Good thing we now have access to more international products via SnR, where I was able to buy TIGI Catwalk Curlesque shampoo.

Post Holiday Makeup Giveaway - Annoucement of Winners

Congrats to the winners!

I'll be back to regular programming next week :)

CLOSED Fulfill Your Modfancies - Post Holiday Makeup Giveaway

Time for a new giveaway!!

As promised (albeit a day late), I am commencing my Post Holiday Makeup Giveaway.

Please watch the video below to find out the two sets of makeup products I am giving away and the mechanics of the contest.

Enjoy! :)

Christmas Shopping - Makeup and Skincare Haul

Here it is, my haul video!

Silly me, after watching the video, I realized I forgot to mention a couple of products:

*MUFE Aqua Brow

*Bourjois Loose Powder in Rose

I'm Back!! Let's Catch Up!

And I'm sorry for the hiatus during the holidays.

I spent the Christmas week in Hong Kong, where the low-temp weather was a welcome break from the unusually hot December we were having in Manila.

We stayed at the Marco Polo Gateway and I'm actually quite surprised that for a camwhore like me, I did not take photos of our rooms. But, I did take a couple of shots of Three on Canton, the official breakfast hub during our six-day stay in HK.

Three on Canton

Salad Bar

Egg Station

Bacon, croissant and eggs:
How my plate basically looked like everyday lols

Health Corner: Thoughts and Review of mySlim Detox and Fat Burner Drink

The holiday season is upon us and for the most part, that means we are set to be entranced by platter after platter of moist chocolate cakes, crispy lechon (pig roasted over open flame) skin, buttermilk fried chicken, butter garlic shrimps and all those other irresistible good eats.

And no matter how hard we try to stand our ground and say no, that hard veneer of will power will tear apart just as the aroma of a cheesy rice cake topped with slices of salted duck egg and shreds of coconut meat seductively wafts through the air.

And believe me, my battle plan to wage through the holidays without putting on layers of body fat fails every. damn. year.

But this time around, I am facing this upcoming week of pure food porn armed with a bottle... or two of mySlim, that is. mySlim is a sugar-free energizing and detoxifying drink that effectively reduces bloating by flushing away toxins (a.k.a that quarter-pound burger and large fries you had for lunch) from the body.

Makeup Inspiration: Sarah G. on Preview Magazine

Just like the next makeup junkie, I love taking inspirations from various looks seen on the glossy pages of magazines. It never ceases to amaze me how the makeup, outfits, editorials and even the personality tests (wink* wink*)  remain fun and fresh month after month after month.

Same goes with the year-end issue of Preview Magazine featuring über-talented Sarah Geronimo. Her overall look from the makeup to the sleek straight hair spells FIERCE. I must say Sarah is the best choice to cap off 2012 for Preview Magazine, which has had a string of gorgeous covers this year.

Speaking of which, please also check out my first Preview inspired look here.

From the moment I saw the cover, I immediately wanted to try and replicate the look - the slanted smoky blue eyes, contoured cheeks and soft pink lips.

Please take note that this is my own version and as much as I tried following every meticulous detail of the makeup, it will look different on me because the shape of my eyes, slant of my brows, skin tone, etc are not the same as Sarah's.

Fyi: It was my first time doing the the masking tape technique and it makes me giddy that I was able to pull it off quite nicely. #makeupgeek :-)

Wearable Red Lip Look (Video)

I was feeling a bit down recently because I had to cancel my six-day trip to South Korea because of reasons I can't blog about. Actually, it's not some big dirty secret... oh what the heck. My mom asked me (in other words, demanded) to postpone my trip so I could supervise the renovation of our house.

Yes, I can refute her amicable request (read: I'm being sarcastic), but then I would be putting my sanity on the line. Just imagining the endless whines, cries and random episodes of dramatic guilt-inducing monologues I'd be experiencing first-hand from her was enough to just let the plan go.  I bought the tickets on the first week of January, so I was quite literally looking forward to it all year long, but.. but... but... oh well, there's always next year.

To cheer myself up a bit, I did a wearable red lip makeup look that would be perfect for the holiday season. It is subtle enough for a daytime affair but would also be perfect for a casual night out.

The Mod List: Coral Lippies

I am obsessed with corals.

No, scratch that, actually I am obsessed with bright and bold shades on my lips. But since this post is supposed to be color-specific, I won't bombard you with my lust for red, hot pink and the likes. I'll do that on another day.

*Makeup Forever Aqua Lip Pencil in 18C*

Exfoliate For Better Skin: How I use the PMD System

I had severe acne when I was growing up - it began when I was around nine years old and cleared up right after I graduated from High School.

And because it flared up right at the time I was going through adolescence, it really hampered my self-esteem.

I remember trying everything to somehow mitigate the acne from regularly getting facials, mildly exfoliating my skin and using various kinds of creams/serums.

The weird thing about my situation was that my acne cleared up when I started using a no-name papaya soap my mom used to buy from her colleague. I figured the papaya enzymes effectively stopped my pores from producing too much oil, thus making the zits finally go away. Whatever made it so effective, I am just thankful that it did help me.

But there are remnants of that period of my life, I have some scars on my nose and cheeks. Although the scars are not deep, they are there and I hate them. Up to this day, I believe that my sister was right when she told me NEVER to touch my pimples or wash my face after getting facials because supposedly that causes the dented scars.